SAVED and baptised over 23 years back, having gone astray during my
latter teen years, and having been exposed to 3 years abuse in my
apprenticeship which is whenever I went astray, I must say I didn't
get faith the first-time around. I went just a little way in the
beliefs, but I didn't send to discipleship, and led a 'happy' worldly
life until my world came up crashing down on 22 September 2003.
For the very first time in my own life I understood I needed God. The
next five months were the hardest of my entire life, and in my own
most affordable of lows (lonelier than ever before and in the deepest
despair), I taken care of immediately a Television set evangelist's
altar call. It was Saturday 8 November 2003. I prayed that prayer in
sobbing tears, and didn't feel any different. But there is a serenity
I received that I'd call "resignation," that life is life,
and we can best accept it, crumby pieces and everything. This
serenity I couldn't understand, but I needed no problem accepting it.
It didn't make my circumstances any different, but God proved me they
didn't have to improve for me to know relief. This is one of the best
stories
of God that I experienced.
All during this time period I was doing the astounding
12-Step program, including an intensive moral inventory (which
engaged, for me, 8 weeks of sin-identification) and a repentance
session with a sponsor (which got five time one Sunday night). That
was 14 Dec. On 18 Dec I got baptised in the Holy Heart for the very
first time. God was confirming if you ask me weekly that he was very
real and within my entire life, and I was amazingly attracted to him,
his Expression, and trust and follow his will - even though it
intended I overlooked out, needed to sacrifice for some reason, or
had to repent.
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